Friday | February 14, 2003
Everyone needs to chill
You know all that noise about duct tape and plastic sheeting? Well people, that would be as useful as this:
And if you don't live in DC or NY or Chicago or LA or SF, then DON'T WORRY about it! I can essentially guarantee terrorists aren't planning a gas attack on Lawrence, Kansas.
I shudder to think how Americans would cope if we faced the same level of terrorist attacks as Israel. Or had to suffer an invasion from a belligerant international pariah state led by an election-stealing regime.
But back to duct tape -- Ridge claims it WILL work:
Responding to critics who belittled some of the suggestions, Ridge said his department had worked for the last eight months, even using focus groups, to find the best ways to prepare the public in the event of terrorist attacks.So there you have it. Duct tape -- focus group tested for your protection. One can only hope one of these focus groups included a chemical engineer or perhaps an exterminator. You know -- people who know about chemicals and gasses.
But how could I doubt our great leaders? Of COURSE they had people in-the-know during these focus groups!
So now I'm a bit unsure. Am I doing my readers a disservice by rejecting Ridge's focus group-tested advice? I mean, Rush Limbaugh has come down firmly on the side of duct tape, and he always speaks the "truth". Let me see what Jeb Bush has to say about it?
At the height of the Cuban missile crises children were taught to drop and cover - to hide under their school desks in case of a nuclear attack.Egad! The president's own brother is pooh-poohing the Duct Tape of Life. And he's a Republican! Is Jeb aware that it's been focus group tested? How about "San Antonio terrorism expert" Saul Wilen, who is either ignorant or a Democrat that Hates America and Wants People to Die (TM)?
But if there's one thing we know, it's that no one would be so crass as to use this silly panic to, say, try to make money. Right? Right?
God bless America.Posted February 14, 2003 05:47 PM | Comments (33)