After a hell of a lot more troubleshooting, we discovered the true cause of all the problems with the new dKos server -- it was a bad ethernet card. Luckily, we had an extra card lying around at work. Otherwise, I would've had to return the server and who knows when I would've received the replacement.

What a pain in the ass. But we spent today fixing the problem and configuring the server. It should go back to the data center tomorrow, and the server migration should begin soon thereafter. We're getting close to putting an end to this frickin' nightmare.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.